We Are Living History
“History repeats itself” my father always said. As a young kid I never really understood what he was talking about or why it mattered. I shrugged him off and thought nothing of it. Now, I hear those words coming out of my own mouth. Well, there it is, living proof that history repeated itself at least in that case.
What I don’t want, is for the history we are currently witnessing with the Coronavirus, to ever repeat itself. Is it possible that we can share the information about how we handled this situation, so future generations have a resource should something like this ever happen again? Sure, our children will remember being home from school for 10 (or more) days. They will remember that it was a big deal, that the Coronavirus made history. They will recall the stress they felt radiating off their parents who tried so desperately to keep them protected. But they won’t all remember the details over time.
Memories fade, but digital photos DO NOT!
I’m asking you to take photos, videos, save the emails from the school declaring its’ closure. Write down your thoughts, your fears, what you did to keep your family safe. How you showed up at Costco or Target to find the shelves totally empty. Record how toilet paper was a hot commodity and hand sanitizer was nowhere to be found… on the entire PLANET! Encourage your children to record what they think about what’s going on around them and how it makes them feel.
Be sure to save it somewhere in a secure and permanent way and allow future generations to learn from us!
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They Are Learning
I am not a teacher. I give all the credit in the WORLD to teachers. They are amazing, devoted and committed to their students in a way I could never replicate.
I did, at one point consider being a teacher… I shadowed my sister in law for a day while she taught her second grade class, to see if I had possibly found my calling. The only “calling” I heard was the one in the back of my mind urging me to get out the classroom as quickly as I had gone in! I realized almost immediately that teaching was not for me. I have a great respect for the people who dedicate their lives to teaching. Not only their time, but also their own hard-earned money and most importantly, their heart. I can see it the faces of nearly all the teachers I know. A HUGE shout out to you for your hard work, and big hearts.
I have realized these last few days, while stuck in this house, that even though I’m not teaching them per se, they are still learning. I have seen growth in my children in way that both warms my heart and breaks it all at once. I see them flourish before my eyes. I see them truly understanding that family matters most, above everything else. That siblings are a gift. That there are ways to make the best of a crummy situation. That being kind to one another is not that hard. That being stuck within the same 4 walls for several weeks at a time, sucks. That COVID-19 sucks. That Mama and Dad work a lot. That we go through a lot of food. Like A LOT of food. That doing school work at home takes barely any time at all (compared to 8 hours at school)! That playing with your siblings can actually be tons of fun. That sleeping in a tent, in the house is almost as much fun as sleeping outside. That you can learn science while making cookies, rock candy and dinner. That if you become part of the “clean plate club” at lunchtime, you get candy. That if you help out Mama around the house, you get extra screen time. That using your imagination is actually fun. That getting outside can feel like recess… They learn at school, of course, in a way that I cannot replicate at home. But what I can offer is real life lessons, snuggles, cookies and my love. I’ve watched them learn, in this short time, that life is precious and at any moment, things can be drastically changed before we even realize it has happened. They have learned to take things for granted a little less and to be a little more kind, and in this moment, I’ll take that as a win.
Slow down, love your babies, snuggle more. Learn some lessons.
Little Moments Matter
“It goes so fast” they say. “Time flies when they’re little” they say. “Don’t blink, you’ll miss it” they say.
Ugh and every time they say it, I CRINGE inside.
A little part of me wants to melt right into the floor, just like my kids do when I tell them it’s time for bed. Oh yeah, you know what I’m talking about.
Anyway, I can’t stand those sayings, and I never could. I get it, they want to warn you about how fast time moves when your kids are little. You’re busy, working, cooking, cleaning, parenting, blogging (oh, ok so maybe that didn’t happen much back in the day) but you get the point.
I agree that time can sneak past and you don’t even notice, but come on! Stop with the one-liners already!Maybe when I’m old(er) and wrinkly(er) I will say things like that to young Mamas too. Instead, I’m hoping to slow down now, take photos of the important moments and try to relish in those times.
If they are momentous enough to stop, rummage around for the phone in the bottom of your purse, find the camera app and snap a photo, then it is important enough to stop and smell the roses. Or swing with your child. Or throw a ball with your son… or whatever it is! Little moments matter not just to us, but to our kids too!
I don’t want to look back and wish I had slowed time down, but rather I want to feel time slow down by stopping to enjoy the moment. I’ll admit, this is not something I do enough, but it is something that I work on and hope to improve upon every day. Every time I take a photo of my kids, I remind myself to enjoy that moment with them, not just for them.
Rose and Thorn
Dinner time is the worst. Ok, maybe bedtime trumps dinner time, but it’s a close second. In our house, dinner time always has some sort of stressor. The craziness has changed over the years, and I expect it will continue to. At first it was having a little one in a high chair constantly throwing food to the floor. Then it was the toddler who refused to stay in her chair while the older brothers fought or picked on each other. Eventually it morphed into terrible table manners and poor eating resulting in me yelling pretty much the whole way through dinner. Each night at least one child got sent to their room during dinner, only to return not having changed their behavior.
Ugh.
Some days, were a nightmare. 🤦♀️
I decided it had to change. I wanted to put a positive spin on the meal and allow the kids an outlet to talk about whatever it is that is making them so wild and wound up.
I came across the idea of a daily Rose and Thorn where the “rose” is the best part of the day and the “thorn” is the worst. It works by going around the table, starting with someone new each night, and allowing each family member to talk about what made them happy, glad, excited, or proud and what made them frustrated, unhappy, scared, sad or whatever else they have on their mind. I couldn’t believe it, but it was an extremely easy, and effective way of creating positive, engaging conversation around the dinner table. The kids loved it! They wanted to hear what each other had to say, and us as parents were learning a TON about what made our kids happy – and maybe more importantly, what made them stressed.
It has been several years at this point since we started this routine, and not a dinner meal has gone by where we have skipped it. It is as much of a part of the meal as the food is! The best part is, that because they are engaged in the conversation, they just eat. Gone are the days where I have to constantly ask them to take bites and finish their meals… they just EAT!
Recently, my middle son put a spin on it and started added a “coo-coo” which is the funniest thing that happened in their world. His sense of humor makes us laugh every day, making dinner time more tolerable, and even enjoyable.
Of course, table manners are still a work in progress, and my toddler occasionally tosses something over her shoulder if she doesn’t want to eat it, but we are no longer arguing or sending anyone away from the table. I had no idea that this would create such a difference but our family has become more grateful, happier, and more aware of each others feelings. It has truly been a game changer. 🙏
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The Meaning of Photos
Have you ever looked at a photo and become flooded with emotion? It is amazing how that happens! A quick glance can send you into a state of pure joy, happiness, longing for someone you miss, or a multitude of other emotions.
This past weekend we were out on the boat, that we have the pleasure of using because my father, who passed away 11 years ago, had left it behind for us. We were cruising around the lake, pulling my sons on the inflatable tube behind us. My 4-year-old daughter, who is too little to ride the tube quite yet (although she begs to differ) was sitting on my lap. She snuggled in close and the next thing I knew she was asleep in my arms. She has not slept in my arms since she was an infant! I felt so comforted knowing that she could still let her guard down and snuggle in.
When I look back on this photo, I don’t just see a sleeping child. I see my baby, my youngest child being vulnerable. I feel the presence of my father, his love, him looking down on us and smiling. I see the joy in my boys’ faces as they bounce around on the tube and the purity of my daughter as she sleeps in my arms.
Photos aren’t always just about remembering the good times, they are also about recording the moments that are so meaningful and wonderful that we want the opportunity to relive again in the future.
This photo represents family, love, joy, a life of hard work to provide such experiences and a legacy that will not be forgotten.
I am so grateful to have these moments, and the photos of them that bring me joy time and time again
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Capturing Special Moments, Even During a Pandemic
Do you have a graduating senior in your family? Someone graduating from high school? How are they celebrating? Are they able to have a party? Has their graduation ceremony been modified, or worse, cancelled?
What about those moving on from college into the real world, only to be faced with a troubled job market and professional opportunities revoked?
And let’s not forget about your little one who completed pre-school and is moving onto Kindergarten! Was there a drive-by good-bye to the teachers or just a letter sent home thanking you for being a part of their “pre-school family” all those years?
As parents, we might feel more slighted than the kids do, after all they had no expectation of a graduation to begin with!
There are so many different ways schools have gone about trying to make graduation a special event, despite the inability to hold traditional ceremonies.
These students deserve to celebrate, to hug it out or fist bump each other.
They’ve earned the right to don their caps and gowns and strut across the stage only to throw their caps in the air, and they certainly earned the recognition for the hard work they’ve put in over the past however many years.
They’ve been cheated out of many of these pieces and for that, I am sorry.
But this is their reality, and any big moment experienced is worth recording, no matter how it played out.
I hope this is the last generation of graduates who celebrates from a distance, but there is something there that makes them special.
Memorable.
Like rain on a wedding day, no one asks for it, wants it, or is happy about it when it happens.
But it does make it memorable and special in its own way. Capture these moments.
Yes, of course your graduate will remember sitting in the car, waiting for his turn to be called up to walk across the parking lot and collect his diploma.
But, will he remember how he felt?
Or will he remember the masks on everyone’s face instead?
Did he have the earned benefit of feeling proud or rather did he feel nothing but nerves about being around others?
Was he disappointed that he couldn’t high-five his buddies after years of working together?
Or was he just happy for it to be over?
Emotions are part of the experience as a whole, and they are harder to capture.
Take a moment and ask your graduate to create a few minute video describing what it felt like to cross the threshold during a pandemic.
You are likely to be surprised by his answer!
Ask your 5 year-old how they feel about moving onward and upward to Kindergarten – they are less likely to remember how they felt, and less likely to realize their experience is any different from anyone else’s.
When the rain settles, and the wedding is over, the result is the same – a happily married couple who can’t wait to see what the world has in store for them.
The same is for these graduates, and despite these being challenging times, we need to remember to congratulate, honor and celebrate those who have put forth the hard work and achieved success.
Check in on them, ask how they are doing, and encourage them to record their experience.
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